Relationship expert Dr. Patty Ann Tublin answers your questions on some of life’s toughest situations.

David of New Milford asks:
“My boss, who was a VP, just left our company for a new job.  Everyone on my team knows I was very close to him as we worked very well together.  Her replacement is an outside hire. Should I be worried about my job now? “

Dr. Patty Ann:

Great question David, and my answer is both yes and no. Meaning, I understand your concern.  Here are some things to consider to help you secure your position with your new boss.
1. Make a very conscious & genuine effort to get to know your new boss. Offer to have coffee and/or a drink with him and begin to develop a healthy relationship with him -not just as a boss but as a person.
2.Tell and show your new boss that you are a team player. He has probably been told that you were very close to your former boss – so you want to maintain your integrity and acknowledge that yes, you were close to your former boss however, you are a team player who is loyal to the company and the other members of your team & you will be loyal to him as well.
3.  Let your new boss know that you want to help him help the team win!

Joanna from Berlin asks:

“All of a sudden my husband leaves the room when he gets phone calls during the weekend and at night. Whenever I ask him who he is talking to you – he always says it is someone from work. But he’s never gotten work calls at night and on the weekend before.  I don’t believe him & I think he is having an affair with someone from work.  What do you think Dr. Patty Ann?”

Dr. Patty Ann:

1. Be honest and tell him your concerns – and see how he reacts. 
2. Tell him the next time he gets a phone call he doesn’t have to leave the room b/c you will not make any noise that will distract him while he is on the call and you will shut off the TV or radio if they are on too.  See what he says to that.
3. Ask him if you can look at the caller ID on his phone.  See how he respond to this.